I should have started one of these at the very beginning of the course. Much was churning in my mind since i started and even before i started this course. This might have actually been one of the main reasons that i did not start a journal. There is so much on my mind. In a reflective journal i value conciseness, but to be honest i was not confident i could produce such a thing while also griping tightly to my wanting to feel as honest as possible. Ideas were tangled in thoughts with my perception as broad as humanly possible: i.e. narrow through the lens of the ideals. 

Basically, as i have come to process so much more and seen the outcomes presented in the contexts of this insanely elusive thingy dubbed reality. I feel better prepared to attempt to capture my thoughts in writing on the way to a much more structured form of reflection. Aside from the fact that i am required to do such a thing as part of the ‘linking theory task2’ i need to do this to clarify my messy emotional insides to leave more room to consider other things. 

I have come across some wildly wonderful academic journals and articles. It is redefining my understanding of what life is to me. Injecting it with meaning. Despite feeling trapped in a financially indebted defined prison, i have never felt so liberated in my life. I have never felt so glad to be alive. I see darkness but clench tightly to hope and seek intently for traces of ‘true’ love, love of family, friends, strangers and even institutions. I know life doesn’t last for ever. This funky chunks of situations is it. What am i going to do with it experience throgh y study suggests - ‘Play’ !!  

… i realise the reason for jotting down notes of key ideas and important information is to get a better feel of the concept, not just by thinking or reading but feeling the words roll out on paper. The process makes the ideas more familiar so that there is less hesitation and more confidence that is projected when the need comes, to express these ideas in my own words…